It was said to be a real essay, a fake, a contest submission.
After receiving it again recently, I found the the author, a writer named Hugh Gallagher, to find out the real Best Essay Ever Written Funny of the piece. Gallagher told me that he wrote the essay when he was 17 for a high school writing contest. He won and the essay was published click the following article Harper's Magazine.
He did then use the essay as part of his applications when he applied to five colleges about two decades ago. He attended New York University and is now a New York-based writer with experience in journalism, PR, branding, advertising, multimedia, television, film and novels. Every time I read this essay, I laugh. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries.
I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I Best Essay Ever Written Funny electrical appliances free of charge. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration.
My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one click and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA.
I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group Best Essay Ever Written Funny terrorists who had seized a small bakery.
The laws of physics do not apply to me. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
Then again, Sirius is all human creation, but Beats 1 is FREE. That certainly didn't work at Beats Music. The data needed for this calculator to function correctly is the investment amount, payment frequency, number of years for the contract, and the expected return percentage. As competitors Gome, Suning Sun does not claim that the people, have been slotting allowance, but the industry s revenue in recent years constitute Suning found that Qi Cheng profits from fees collected to the vendor.
I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
If Best Essay Ever Written Funny have other amusing essays, send them to me. And for admissions advice, college news and links to campus papers, please check out our Higher Education page at washingtonpost. A lesson from Oakland Next: Times teachers data is flawed. Hate to ruin the fun but I've seen this before Hope someone on the admissions committee is single and looking.
Which part of the essay makes you laugh, Strauss? Did he woo you into bed with his Best Essay Ever Written Funny and godlike trombone playing? Sounds like the fore-runner for the "Most Interesting Man in the World" commercials. Some of you need to lighten- up. This essay is probably more creative than much of the contrived crap that some students send in as serious admissions essays. I see a lot of double posts, both here and in "Class Struggle. So it's not just you, demathis; a lot of people are having trouble with these sites.
The obvious solution would be to require the IT people to apply for their paycheck every week on these sites! SofaKingCool February 7, I love humor, click this essay is so excessive that it just doesn't seem very funny to me. Of course, I didn't think the Super Bowl half-time show this year was very good either Best Essay Ever Written Funny were the commercials, overall.
DrDemocracy February 8, 8: So is dual submission of the essay -- Harpers, multiple admission processes, etc. I edit an academic journal and we have a strong prohibition against receiving a submission that is actively being considered elsewhere.
Very original, creative, and excellent use of grammar. However if I was an admissions officer I'd feel like he didn't really answer the essay question.
Potter2 February 8, As a college consultant, I would give the essay an A for creativity, but I am not sure how much I learned about the applicant beyond that.
40 Of The BEST Yearbook Quotes Ever Written
I read the essays of the high school students I work with and I think I have a few that could top this one for the best essay. It was clever, but not the best. Obviously people don't have a sense of humor!
The Worst (and Best) Essay Ever Written. best essay ever classic essay college essay college paper entertainment essay fail funny humor socawlege worst college paper. Capella university best essay ever written funny. Serpell, r. And mogaji, a. School pchology in social context of learning outcomes, from inception to conception. 17 Personal Essays That Will Change Your Life the way you love the first person who ever touches you and never love this is the best-known essay by the. If there's one topic that writers can be counted on to tackle at least once in their working lives, it's writing itself. A good thing too, especially for all those. Is this the best college essay ever? but this essay is so excessive that it just doesn't seem very funny to this essay is clearly not the "best ever.
If you had been working on admissions apps and college scholarships like we have, this strikes you as hillarious! TexasMom3 February 8, 1: That explains why the students that end up in my classes can't think for themselves.
Did you not read the prelude intro to the essay? This was written when this guy was 17 - a quick look on the internet reveals that this was when he wrote it. Unless you have seen this prior to it is original.
I doubt that match. Better to remain silent and let people think you are more info idiot than open your mouth and confirm it.
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My problem s with Teach For America Teacher: The new lice but worse Entries By Category.
Let's hear it for humor, tongue-in-cheek and creativity! Sorry, but I think you're jealous. Whatever else it may be, this essay is clearly not the "best ever. It is, however, a great piece of work. All college essays are dumb. That's just the way it is. Susie Watts Denver, Colorado.
I wonder if this essay is his most popular work. The author and the fellow in the Old Spice commercials are one of the same